Words From A Disorganized Mind...

Turkey Memorial Day

2011-11-23T11:08:00.003-05:00

At long last, Thanksgiving break has come. The best thing about this is that college students everywhere are getting a sneak peak at what winter break will feel like in less than a month. The worst thing about this is that there are still three weeks of school to endure. I am so ready for this semester to be done.

Yet, at the same time, there are parts of this semester I don't want to be over. I'm not ready for marching band to end, partially because I may have just finished my last season of FMB. I may have a class conflict next fall that will keep me from wearing the uniform for my fourth year of college. I hope more than anything this is not the case; I'll be truly heartbroken if I can't come back for a fourth year...

In other news, aside from almost being completely done with marching band, life is treating me fairly well. I'm really broke, but I can manage. I'm really happy with my life, this is the happiest I've been, honestly. I know so many wonderful people, and I am blessed to be with a wonderful guy, and extremely blessed to have the greatest of friends. I have so many things to be thankful this year; I'm healthy, I'm happy, and I wish the same for everyone I know and love. Also, please pray for the families of the turkeys who were sacrificed for this holiday weekend. Happy Turkey Memorial Day!

That is all.

Thank you and good day.

"Autumn leaves are floating..."

2011-10-07T20:49:00.003-04:00

Wow, it's definitely been way too long since I last posted. Guess I'll be making up for lost time.

I decided that this summer, summer 2011, truly was the best summer I've ever had. Looking back at all the things I did, I don't regret anything, and there was seldom a dull moment. Who could ask for anything more? I ended my summer moving out of my parents' house and into my first apartment in BG. It's definitely taken some getting used to, living fairly independently, but I enjoy it. I have two very tolerable roommates, but I wouldn't trade them for anyone else.

So, what have I been up to since my last post, besides living in town, making it through my 21st birthday and surviving another semester of college? Well, I also survived another Fundies Week. It was a rough first few days, trying to figure out what all the duties were as a Secretary, but after Wednesday night I felt much better about everything. I'm proud to say I'm a third year saxophone in the Falcon Marching Band. Grant it the band is very chatty this year and Dr. H has yet to give us a whole day off, it has still been a fun season thus far. Halftime shows this year: "I Hear America Singing" (Patriotic, 9/11 and such), "Beatlemania" (Beatles music), "Let's Hear it For the Boys" (Boy band show, Backstreet Boys, Hanson, New Kids and N'Sync), and "Styx and Stones" (Styx and Rolling Stones music). The patriotic show was very well-received by both audiences, and the Beatles show went fairly well when we performed it at Defiance High School last weekend (though we could have done much better without the mud). Kappa Kappa Psi has also been going well, we have a good-sized MC class that should have a lot of potential. I have gone from being a co-chair for a committee to a chair for the committee; I am honored the Brothers have confidence in me that I can handle this, hopefully I will not let them down.

I am also happy to say that after 21 years of being single, I am finally in a relationship with a wonderful young man that I have admired for quite some time. Kevin and I have been dating for a month now, and despite the crazy shit that has happened in the past month, I am so thankful I have him in my life to get me through the hard times. Hopefully I've been there for him as much as he has for me, and I'm looking forward to what the future brings the both of us. :-)

For being so busy with life, being a full-time college junior, working two part-time jobs, being a Secretary for Falcon Marching Band and a Committee Head in my Fraternity, and everything in between, I wouldn't want to have it any other way. Let's see where life takes me yet, but I sense good things ahead.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

The Best Summer I've Ever Had?

2011-08-09T10:12:00.002-04:00

I don't want to speak to soon, since my summer is not over just yet, but this has been a fairly positive summer for me. A lot of good things have happened, and I've yet to have a dull weekend. What could be better?

Since my last post (which feels like ages ago), I've been a lot of places and I've done a lot of things. I went and watched fireworks in Bowling Green with a wonderful person during the patriotic weekend, and the weekend after I survived the performance of "Bye, Bye Birdie." The show has been named "The Miracle of Grand Rapids" based on the insanity of how we managed to pull off a good show after thoroughly rehearsing with a full cast for only a week and a half. I think the two biggest surprises of the entire weekend was when I received a bouquet of orange/yellow roses from the man playing my husband, and when my grandfather came to the Saturday night performance, two days after we were informed they weren't going to make it. Still kind of surprised...

The weekend after I went to the drive-in with the family to witness the last installment of the Harry Potter movies: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part II. It was, to put it simply, wonderful. A few things were left out, but other than that it was a fantastic movie. That Sunday I got up early to meet up with a friend in Lima to make a great journey down to Cincinnati for a Reds game - my first Reds game. Got to see a lot of awesome band people and enjoyed my first time in Cinci, from Five Guys to Skyline to Graeter's and seeing some fun sites. Hopefully I can visit again soon.

The next day I went to the zoo in the morning with my family and got to see the new baby elephant - so cute! That afternoon I left for Michigan for the remainder of the week, spending my first night at my aunt's house then the rest of my time at my cousin's house, taking care of her son. During my stay in Michigan I became mildly addicted to the old 60s show "Batman." Unfortunately I don't have cable at home. I left Saturday morning to get to a wedding in BG, and was seriously contemplating on going back to Michigan that night after losing power at the house. I didn't, though. The day after I went with Alissa and saw the school edition of Les Miserables. Wow! What a phenomenal show! I'd love to see the professional version done some day.

The Tuesday after I worked almost 6 hours stuffing and sealing every single envelope sent out to all the members, old and potential, of the Falcon Marching Band. It was tedious, but the fact we got it done in one day is amazing. The next day I returned to Michigan and stayed till Friday - and to give Lynda a break I took Gavin home with me that weekend. It was more like revenge on my brothers; they were not amused. Lynda picked up her son Sunday afternoon, and thus began my final weeks of summer.

I practiced my FMB music on and off during the week, trying to put together a wedding present and such. My parents somewhat met my future roommates during dinner at Pollyeye's. At long last Friday night arrived, and I headed to BG to get ready for the second wedding of the summer - my Big's wedding. And such a lovely wedding it was! A second congratulations to Eddie and Lindsay, I'm happy for you two. Not that they read this, not that anybody reads this...

And now we're to my last week of summer. Fundies Week begins on Sunday for me, and I have so much to do between now and then. Not sure when I'll update this next, but hopefully I won't leave anyone hanging. Oh, and my big 2-1 is in less than two weeks. On to year three of college!

That is all.

Thank you and good day.

June Bug

2011-06-28T22:38:00.002-04:00

Holy Jesus it's been a while. June is almost over, and I haven't updated this in over a month. Let's see if I can summarize these last two months as best I can.

As of May 14, I haven't worked a single job anywhere. Correction: I baby sat Eric and Melinda's daughter for two hours yesterday, but that's about it. When I wasn't in class I was working in the band office, or trying to learn my lines at rehearsal. Speaking of Birdie.... wow, what a roller coaster THAT has been. We managed to get an Albert (thank God for Joel!), we lost our Randolph but got a new one (yay Cole!), we're on our third Harvey Johnson (Max is awesome!), and after going without a Conrad to having a Conrad to losing that Conrad, we finally have a PERMANENT Conrad (Thank you, Matt!). Opening night is in 10 days, and we finally have a full cast... well, as full of a cast as we'll get.

I passed summer classes with two A's and a B, better than I thought I'd do. Remind me to never take summer classes again.

My sister (who was a Valedictorian, by the way) became an official alumnus of Otsego High School, and as of last Thursday she's an official student at the Bowling Green State University. No FMB for her, though, which saddens me quite a bit, but if she's happier giving up music, then so be it.

Other than working in the band office and recruiting the youth of America, I've made my weekends fun. I've yet to had a dull Saturday or Sunday. I've gone out clubbing quite a bit, I visited Tony in Canal Fulton with some friends, Alissa's grad party and other grad parties, and I've simply enjoyed myself.

Now July is almost here. I've got a show, maybe a few days in Michigan, and a wedding. And Fundies week is in 47 (almost 46) days away. Let's see where life takes me now. I'm staying optimistic, and gonna take my time.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

A Sweet Sample of Summer

2011-05-07T10:09:00.005-04:00

And that title is an example of alliteration.

It's been quite some time since I have updated this, but I assure you it's because I've been out living the college experience. Allow me to recap my final weeks of my second year at Bowling Green State University.

I went summer job hunting over spring break with no luck, and will commence the hunt sometime next week. I also spent spring break catching up on sleep that college always seems to rob me of. Alas, spring break always ends far too soon, and I was again back in the swing of school.

I attended my high school's production of "Hairspray" with a group of my college friends, and it was a fantastic show! Everyone enjoyed themselves, and my siblings all did great in their roles, especially my sister as the hooker. The rest of March remains a blur, mostly writing fiction and poetry and getting ready for all that April had in store.

April was jam-packed every single weekend. I started April by attending the annual Kappa Kappa Psi and Tau Beta Sigma Formal, and had a great date to go with as well. :-) Unfortunately I agreed to get up and work at the first New Student Orientation at 7 in the morning, but luckily I got my date to go with me to help at that. Then I had to go to real work for the rest of the weekend. The following weekend I went to the Kappa Kappa Psi and Tau Beta Sigma North Central District Convention, held in Indiana. It was a great learning experience for me, not just as a Brother but as a person. It's definitely had me look at some things in a new light. Hopefully I can continue to become a better person from this.

I also auditioned for leadership in the Falcon Marching Band. I wasn't terribly surprised when I wasn't selected, since I butchered my playing audition and messed up big time at my marching audition. While waiting for leadership results I went to a campout with some of the Brothers. Since my phone was dead the entire time I was at campout, I greatly appreciated the break from normal life and spending time in an unnatural environment known as the great outdoors. Hopefully I can go again next year and have another break away from reality. After discovering I was not chosen for leadership, I immediately applied for secretary once Dr. Hayward sent out the email. I then went on with the rest of my week working on separate projects for all of my classes.

The last weekend of April was Easter weekend, which I spent sleeping in on Saturday for the first time since spring break and attending a saxophone's vocal recital. Amy rocked her recital, I'm going to miss her immensely in band next year. The next day I attended church for the first time in months and then proceeded to pick up my Big Sister for my family's dinner in Toledo. The food was great, and it was even more fun to see my cousins for the first time since Christmas. Alas, I had work to do so I had to head back to BG and get stuff done. The final week of classes wasn't expected to be nearly as insane as it turned out to be. But I survived it, and was selected to be a co-chair for the Public Relations-Outreach-Service Committee somewhere in there too, along with an entire day of free food on the last day, thanks to nice teachers and the student dinner for Dining employees. Then, during Finals Week, I received the news I had been waiting for a long time - I was selected to be one of the Falcon Marching Band secretaries! The best news I had gotten that entire week. :-)

I ended finals week saying goodbye to my dearest friends and trying to get rid of my meal plan money. I also took a few finals at some point... only two, though, haha suckers. I ended my sophomore year and officially am a junior. Unfortunately I also worked my last shifts at both of my jobs and am now unemployed until I find a summer job. My luck with finding year-round jobs has not been the best, but I'm trying to be optimistic.

And now here I am, starting my summer, looking forward to doing another summer show (I found out yesterday I was cast as Doris MacAfee for "Bye Bye Birdie"!). I start summer classes next Monday, and I have two weddings so far to attend. And there's 98 days until Fundies Week begins again... I guess I will see where the roads of summer will take me over the next 98 days. Life is a highway, after all.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

Checkpoint

2011-03-03T21:41:00.002-05:00

February flew by, bringing with it a multitude of snow and ice and even a shred of 60 degree weather. Quite a month, I must say.

To start off, I am proud to say that my Little Brother Chelsea is officially Active in Kappa Kappa Psi and my Little Sister Ashley is officially Active in Tau Beta Sigma. And Eddie did make it to Third Degree, which made me the happiest Little Brother imaginable.

I've gone apartment hunting with some people, and as of now it looks like we'll be signing a lease for Mercer Manor after spring break. I'm looking forward to it.

Spring break officially begins for me the moment I get out of my Spanish class tomorrow. Yay.

Did I mention my mind is all over the place and I'm really tired? That's why this post is much shorter than I had anticipated. I apologize for my brief visit, but at least you all know I'm still alive.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

Cold

2011-01-22T22:32:00.002-05:00

Well, 2010 ended, and now it's 2011. And boy am I busy as ever again.

Winter break went well for the most part. I saw people I hadn't seen in ages, including old high school friends and my SSO friends. I traveled as far south as the Columbus Zoo for the SSO reunion and as far east as Sandusky (Perkins, actually) for Eddie's graduation party. Both were fun times with both people.

But alas, all good things must come to an end, and now I'm back in the swing of yet another semester. Even though I'm only taking 13 hours this semester, two of my classes involve a great deal of writing, so I'm definitely occupied with homework. I guess that's why I'm a writing major...

I also successfully got my second speeding ticket this year. I didn't think it was fair since my car had died earlier that day and I was borrowing my parents' minivan, a tank vehicle I wasn't accustomed to driving. The cop was an asshole. Yes, I said it. Just another reason for me to grow spite against authority.

My mood has still been swinging in the lows, I'm not sure why. Some days are just incredibly frustrating, especially when I feel like all I do is stupid stuff. I hate feeling stupid, and I've felt like that a lot lately. But I know it's my fault. Oh well.

I also became a Big Brother again and received a Little Sister! Her name is Ashley and I am super stoked to have two Little girls that I have no doubt will become Active members in our organizations within the next few weeks. I really hope my Big Brother can make it to the final degree, it'd mean a lot to me. It'd be similar to having a parent come and watch their child graduate, at least for me it would. We'll see.

I really don't have much to say. I'm tired, it's been a long week of frustration, stupidity, and Reading Clinic.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

Ugly Duckling

2010-12-20T08:26:00.002-05:00

Why is it whenever I'm in a pessimistic mood I go and update my blog? I wish I knew...

Well, I completed yet another semester of college. Four down, God knows however many to go. I'm sorry to say that my semester GPA will not be as high as I hoped because I ended up getting a C in World Literature. Thankfully because I had a 4.0 for the summer semester, my cumulative GPA won't suffer as much... I hope. I also had a lot of friends graduate, and I will miss them dearly....

I've also proven myself useless in the world of technical theatre. I assisted with the setting up and tearing down of the jazzed up Nutcracker this past weekend, or it was more like "I was more of a pain than an actual assistant." Not knowing really anything is kind of frustrating, and while I like to think I'm learning and that over time I'll get better, I probably won't. I really don't know why Eddie calls me his replacement when I'm obviously extremely inexperienced.

Writing about all of this is just making me feel worse. Hopefully being on break will put me in a better mood. I doubt it.

That is all.

Thank you and good day.

The Show Must Go On

2010-11-28T10:36:00.003-05:00

My melancholy mood has returned yet again. But we can dig into that later.

I've managed to continue trudging through this semester, going to class like a good student, going to work like a good worker. Have I grown pessimistic? Yes. The Falcons had their final three games of the season this past month (yes, the final three, definitely no bowl game this year). The first November game, against Miami, was a bizarre one... an ominous fog swallowed up much of the stadium and the city itself. Thank goodness I chose to stay in town that night, I couldn't imagine trying to drive home in that stuff at one in the morning. I went to work on Veteran's Day even though I was told a week beforehand I wouldn't have to come in and work. Funny how things change... I spent the remainder of my day after work hanging out with my Big, which consisted of Mario Brothers, B-Dubbs and apple dumplings. Class resumed that Friday, and I prepared myself for a long weekend.

I spent all of that Saturday at the Winter Wheat Festival, an event specifically targeted at writers and writing majors such as me. I learned quite a bit at all of the workshops I attended. At the dinner that night I was the youngest at my table, which was conveniently close to the cash bar. I wanted a drink, but I had other plans that evening so I reluctantly turned down a generous offer from one of the older gentlemen sitting at my table with me. One more year, one more year..... I left the festival much later than I preferred to, but it didn't matter because the Saxover hadn't even started yet. Yep, the 2010 Saxover was the same Saturday. And it was a blast! Except for when we watched a dumb movie (Stepbrothers, ugh), and when it was bedtime and I was trying to sleep and people kept setting off their ringtones. Did I ever mention how much of a morning person I'm not? Saxover ended with our final Sax Breakfast of the season, and then it was off to the CMA to set up and rehearse for our Sounds of the Stadium concert.

The rehearsal went well overall, except for one peculiar event... after Dr. Moss conducted the National Anthem, he said, "A few editorial notes..." and he paused, and then covered his face for a few seconds. When he removed his hands, there were tears in his eyes. He was crying. At first I thought he was crying because we sounded that terrible. But Dr. Moss managed to find his voice again and went on to say that this year's Falcon Marching Band was the best Falcon Marching Band he had seen and heard in his seventeen years here. It meant a lot to hear that coming from him. Rehearsal went on, then we had a brief break to get ready for the actual concert. The actual concert, for the most part, ran smoothly, although there were some goofs and individual errors, but the crowd enjoyed it regardless. I got four lovely carnations from three of my favorite people and one person who had a dollar to get rid of. After the concert I went out to the lobby as quickly as I could to meet with my family, since I specifically asked them to see me this year since they didn't last year. I waited... and waited... and waited, and started searching for my family. I made my way outside and caught sight of the family car... pulling out of the parking lot. I was crushed.... I decided to go and help with tear down, where I ran into Keith, the man who basically ran everything backstage at the CMA. Eddie had asked me earlier in the semester if I'd be interested in working for Keith, and I said sure. That day I finally got the nerve to tell Keith that I was interested in working for him in the spring. He said I could stop by his office at some point that week, so I kept that in mind.

I spent the remainder of my evening hanging out with my Big Sister and then going to work till the wee hours of the day. And then I went on with another long week. After class I stopped by Keith's office and filled out the application he gave me. I answered "No" to almost all of the questions on the sheet asking me specifics about my skills. I felt the second Keith looked at my application he'd turn me down in an instant. Instead, Keith went on to discuss the horrors of his high school band and his nazi of a band director, and next thing I knew an hour had passed. Keith then informed me he'd email the work schedule to me.... just like that I got hired! This event definitely put me in a better mood for the day.

The week went on, where the second game of the month happened. We traveled north to our rival school, Toledo, and played the Rockets. At least the band was awesome, unlike the football team.... after the game I crashed at my Big Sister's where I got up early to go to work and go to class. Then, that night, I had a dinner at Mickey D's with my Little and then went on to attend the midnight premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I! With the exception of the audio having problems and the need to rewind and re-watch a half hour of the movie, it was pretty fun... until I didn't go to bed till almost four and had to get up and be in class by 8:30.

My week didn't stop there! The next morning, the Falcon Marching Band marched in Bowling Green's annual Holiday Parade. It was cold, and painful, but the community loves us so that's all that matters. After the parade I went to campus to work on a group presentation project, only to discover that we're basically doing our project on love and sex.... my partner is a guy, by the way, and a cute guy at that... After the meeting I went to the CMA to sort out clothes with some Brothers, then went back to my Big Sister's apartment where I sewed her uniform and watched some House reruns. I then went to my Big Brother's apartment and sewed his uniform as well. Funny thing, I have no desire to be the Uniform Chair next year.

Then, this past week, something happened to me that had never happened to me before... I got pulled over and issued a speeding ticket. I'm going to court tomorrow to pay for my ticket, hopefully I won't get arrested. I also started my second job last week, decorating Kobacker Hall and screwing stands and checking seats. As dirty as that sounds, that's exactly what I did. And I loved it! I owe Eddie big time for getting me my second job. However, when I texted my mass message of "Happy Thanksgiving" to all my friends, my best friend Kayla informed me from her boyfriend that my paperwork for my new job didn't transfer. This frustrates me immensely, so I must call the Student Employment Office tomorrow as well. Thanksgiving went well, I took Ives with me as my special guest since he couldn't be home for the holidays. The Friday after Turkey Day was the final game of the season, as well as Senior Day. It was Tony's last game... and Eddie's............

And now here we are, where I'm in my melancholy mood. I'm depressed because Tony and Eddie are both graduating at the end of the semester. And band is pretty much done until summer. But mostly I'm not ready to let go... I never am. I hate saying goodbye to people I've grown so attached to, especially Tony and Eddie. Before pregame on Friday Tony and I hugged and he said I was amazing and he was so proud of me, and he wants me to keep doing band because I'm so amazing... I felt like I was back in high school, when I was with Tony for his last Otsego game. It's going to be really hard to let go of Tony all over again. And then there's Eddie, who is not only my Big Brother, but he's pretty much become my best friend too. I know he'll be around every now and then, and I know that he was supposed to graduate a long time ago, but.... I don't know. I was incredibly blessed to meet him last year and to have gotten to know him so well over the past year. I hate sounding so sappy but I am seriously upset that I have to say goodbye...

We'll see how these final weeks in the semester play out. As Freddie Mercury once said, "Inside my heart is breaking, my makeup may be flaking but my smile still says on."

That is all.

Thank you and good day.

Giving Thanks

2010-11-07T10:43:00.002-05:00

It's another Sunday. I'm lounging on my ass in my pajamas, dividing my time between my laptop and the television. My level of motivation today is extremely overwhelming; I called off my afternoon shift and found somebody to cover my evening shift. I got my paper done, I have no other homework assignments that I'm aware of being immediately due. I don't have to be anywhere till 3 at the earliest. What a wonderful feeling.

These past few weeks have been a wild ride in terms of my health. I was told by my doctor I have iron deficiency anemia and must take 2 iron pills a day in order to keep my hemoglobin up. While my hemoglobin has improved, I am still to take iron for the next 3 months. Joy. I've also been battling some other kind of illness, be it a cold or something. One minute I'll be fine, next minute I'll feel like crap. Damn this Ohio weather for always getting the best of me. Hopefully I'll start to feel on the up side sooner rather than later.

Halloween weekend could have been more exciting, but I enjoyed my Friday night. I began my evening by attending the outreach at my high school. It was great to play with my high school and college friends, and to see Otsego win! I celebrated my high school's victory by attending a Halloween party at the Q, which was a grand time. I was a male police officer this year, and got hit on by one of my gay friends, haha. I spent the remainder of the weekend doing homework and going to work.

This past week started okay and then gradually went downhill. While I can't go into too many details as to what happened, let's just say that nothing went right on Thursday... including the HAIL during marching band practice. Marching in hail was a first for me, and I don't know if I'd like to experience that again. It's rather painful... Anyway I had my second breakdown of the semester later that day, crying for an extended period of time in the chilly comfort of my car parked in the last row of the outskirts of a commuter lot. I hate when I want to cry all the time, I hate crying. Every time I cry I feel stupid and that I shouldn't be crying because "I'm a grown up" and should deal with things in a "grown up way." I don't know, I really don't...

Anyway, now that it's November, my goal is to make my Facebook statuses about something I'm thankful for. While some days will be difficult, other days will be easy. Here's to a potentially positive November, we'll see how this goes...

That is all.

Thank you and good day.

Counting Your Blessings

2010-10-24T09:26:00.002-04:00

So, in my last post I said I'd write later in the week to get some issues off my chest. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately for you who read this) I don't remember what I was going to say. Mostly because I now have new things to write about, both bad and good. Here we go.

Last Tuesday I had my yearly physical. For the most part, I'm healthy, except my hemoglobin is rather low and I've been having some girl problems, to put it subtly. After getting some blood work done, I have discovered I have iron-deficiency anemia, which means in medical terms that I am exhausted and need to take iron pills to bring my hemoglobin back up. I need to schedule an appointment to go back and get my hemoglobin and thyroid rechecked, since that too was also looking low. I will also need more blood work done in 2 or 3 months. This is gonna be fun.

While that did put a damper on my Tuesday, Tuesday night I received a very surprising email - I received a Little Brother! Wednesday night was First Degree, and I got to pin my Little, Chelsea. She was very surprised to see me - she told me later she was worried it was somebody she wouldn't like for a Big. I used to think getting a Big Brother was the best thing ever, but now I realize becoming a Big Brother is the best thing ever. I took my Little to Pollyeye's after Degree where we met up with Eddie, my Big, and we introduced her to stuffed breadsticks. Needless to say, she enjoyed her first visit at Pollyeye's. She left a little early to go home with one of the commuter MC's who got ready in her room, so then I got to spend time with my Big. I looked at Eddie and I said, "I didn't know how much love my heart could hold till I was called Big." And it's true. :-)

It wasn't until Thursday that I realized that my Little is a very busy person. Being a pre-law major I should have expected that. But we WILL find a way to set weekly dinner dates together, dammit! I'm still giddy over the fact that I'm now a Big Brother; every time I'm called Big my heart just melts with happiness. It's a feeling I can't truly describe to somebody unless they experience it firsthand. Too bad I'm already failing at being a Big Brother since I haven't seen Chelsea very much since First Degree. I did get a chance to meet her boyfriend and her mother before the game yesterday though. Oh yeah, yesterday was another Game Day against Kent State. We lost, 30-6, but at least our halftime show was amazing. Then again, when isn't Journey amazing?

On a sad note, it is with sorrow I report that Theresa Cousino, a mother of one of my brothers' friends and a friend of my mother's, has lost her battle with cancer on Thursday. After battling it for five years, God told her it was time to rest. This hit home really hard, especially for my mother, who had just got done battling cancer herself and became very close to Theresa over this past year. She will be missed greatly by all who knew her, but we must remember she is in a better place.

That is all.

Thank you and good day.

Just a Small Town Girl, Livin' in a Lonely World...

2010-10-17T12:30:00.002-04:00

My funky "I'm feeling useless" mood has somewhat returned. But we can discuss that later.

Fall break arrived in the nick of time. I spent my Friday evening at home (weird, I know) watching one of my personal favorite movies of all time, "Some Like It Hot." It was a movie long overdue watching in honor of Tony Curtis, who passed away this past month. The first time I saw that movie was shortly after Jack Lemmon died, back in 2001. I fell in love with the film the minute I finished watching it. Even all these years later I still marvel at how incredibly amazing this movie is, from the excellent dialogue to the way the film was shot, nothing was wasted in this movie. If you haven't seen "Some Like It Hot" yet, I highly recommend you do. I haven't even yet mentioned that Marilyn Monroe is a star in it as well. Three Hollywood legends, one outstanding film, what could be better?

The following Saturday my sister and I celebrated my 20th birthday (almost two months late) and went and saw a movie together, "Easy A." It was a very enjoyable film, especially those of us who are/were recently in high school and have seen at least one classic 80s teen movie. Think John Hughes (director of such films as "The Breakfast Club" "Sixteen Candles") meets Nathaniel Hawthorne (infamous author of "The Scarlet Letter") and that's the movie: a modernized retelling of social ostracism set in high school, the headquarters of rumor-spreading and stereotyping. Good movie, overall.

Saturday evening I rekindled my love with two of my favorite things: playing in the athletic band, and watching hockey while doing so. For a while I was the only saxophone present, so I played as best I could until the only other saxophone arrived. Hopefully I made my fellow saxes proud. After watching the Falcons lose to the Wolverines 4-2, a group of us decided to head to B-Dubbs and have a few drinks together... or more like the "big kids" shared a few drinks and the "little kids" drank water from a straw. After dropping off Eddie's souvenir which he had left at the restaurant, I made a mad dash to Henry County where I crashed at Kayla's place for the night, just in time for the annual Applebutter Festival.

I rode into town with Kayla's family very early in the morning, around 7:45, long before the masses of attendees arrived. Kayla had a 4-hour physics class in the afternoon, so the morning was her only choice in getting a chance to go to the festival this year. We walked around quite a bit, making small purchases every now and then until we met up with Erica and her fiancé Josh. The four of us continued to walk around town, looking at knick-knacks and buying food. At some point Kayla left and the three of us journeyed back to Erica's grandmother's house, a small condo on the outskirts of town. It was getting ridiculously hot and we wanted to rest up before going back to town. Just as we were all falling asleep, Tony and his girlfriend (at the time) walked into the house, carrying food with them. The five of us headed back into town together, where we commenced with walking and buying food. Eventually I went and stood in the ATM line for a half hour, then stood in the applebutter line for over an hour and a half. The wait was worth it. I powerwalked back to base camp where Tony took me back to Kayla's so I could drive home. Home took forty minutes to get to after driving around Grand Rapids and being stuck in Waterville traffic. After relaxing at home and making toast and applebutter for my mother, I headed back to Bowling Green to deliver the other pint of applebutter to my Big Brother, who seemed to like it, maybe. After being in BG for a brief time I went back to GR to pick up my dad and brothers, and by 9 o'clock at night, the whole family was back at home.

Monday, I wrote (and finished!) my second short story for my workshop class. I was in a funky mood when I wrote it, but hopefully it won't be ripped apart too much come this Wednesday.

Tuesday I picked up a shift at work to make up for the lack of money I didn't earn over fall break. It was slow but manageable, a happy change from the usual chaos that stampedes through the Nest on a normal school day. After work was done I was about to head home when I saw the Greek store was open. I immediately went inside and made a special paddle for Tony. Is he my Big? No, but he is a great friend and has always been a great friend to me, ever since I met him, which was an unbelievably long time ago. He was one of my seniors in high school, and I was one of his freshman, a bond similar to that of a Big and Little. I gave Tony his paddle as an early birthday present before our chapter meeting Wednesday night. He couldn't have been happier.

School reconvened, much to my displeasure, and now I'm back into the swing of the fall semester. My days are filled with stress and fun, my nights are filled with stress and fun. Finding the balance between work and play has been a challenge on and off, but I think I've finally found my happy medium. If I continue getting my homework done in the day and keep my nights free for fun activities, then I should survive this semester no problem. Only drawback: procrastination. I've had a lifelong battle with procrastinating, but this semester it hasn't really been too bad. Maybe having stupid Sunday night shifts has helped me stay ahead a little bit... maybe. If I can avoid Sunday night shifts next semester, that'd be a blessing you can't even imagine.

I was going to write more, but I realized I've already ranted quite a lot, and even though nobody reads this, I'll save your weary eyes from staring at your computer screen a second longer and call it a post. I'll probably write a new one later this week, just so I can get some things off my chest.

That is all.

Thank you and good day.

Final Push of Effort

2010-10-05T14:51:00.002-04:00

Only three (hopefully quick) days stand between me and a four day vacation from college. Within these next three days I have three exams I must pass. I really wish I knew how I was doing in my classes, but midterm grades aren't expected to come out for a week or two. I also wish I knew what to minor in, since Telecommunications isn't looking as glamorous as I thought it would.

As I write this, I am sitting outside Kelly Hall, killing time until Marching Band begins at 4. Eddie is attempting to nap, hoodie pulled over his head and everything as he sits in a chair and sprawls his upper half across the table. I went to bed rather early last night (9:30, such an "old person" time to go to bed), and got up around 6 for work. I like to think I "caught up" on the sleep I missed out on Sunday night after working for seven hours straight, but I doubt it. I am feeling a little bit more refreshed, though.

These last few weeks have been the most stressful three weeks I've had so far this semester. The FMB traveled to the Big House with the football team to play against the Michigan Wolverines; the Falcons were raped thoroughly with a 40-something point margin between our score and theirs. Being a diehard Ohio State fan, I felt incredibly unholy standing in that evil stadium, though I must admit, it was HUGE. I'm not sure if I'll ever play in front of 110,000 people again, so I'm thankful for that opportunity. I'd so much rather travel to the Shoe next season, though. We shall see.

Bid Night was also last week. It did not go as I expected; of the 35 names of individuals who were hoping to receive a bid, only 12 of them did. Compared to how many of us were Membership Candidates last year (and the year before), that number is extremely low to me. I was incredibly upset that we turned away so many wonderful people, but what's done is done. Unfortunately, I had my first breakdown of the semester after Bid Night was done. Thankfully my Big Brother was generous enough to let me talk with him at his apartment, where I ended up crying. I cried more on the way home, and while trying to fall asleep, and the feelings of Sunday night still hungover well into Wednesday. I'm just glad I wasn't the only one who was having a terrible week, as bad as that sounds. But we all pulled through.

Saturday was BG's Homecoming Game. It was great to see some beloved alumni return to their alma mater and join in the fun. Our halftime show was "The Firebird" and after ripping our hair out all week to put it together, "The Firebird" flew beautifully at halftime, much to my relief and surprise. The crowd also seemed to love it, which also caught me by surprise. Despite how wonderful the FMB did, the football team still lost to Buffalo by two freaking points, 26-28.

In an unrelated note, my high school football team broke their two year losing streak last Friday and defeated Elmwood, a high school we never managed to beat while I was a student. Yay Knights, keep up the great work! Otsego's homecoming is approaching soon, so that'll be something else to look forward to for this month. And First Degree is in two weeks... I really hope I get a Little... fingers crossed.

That is all.

Thank you and good day.

Is This the Real Life?

2010-09-19T17:53:00.002-04:00

I've been sick for almost two weeks now. What originally began as a stuffy nose has now progressed to a congested cough and an occasional stuffy nose. On the plus side, I can now sing bass...

College lag is officially consuming my soul again. Even though I'm only taking 12 academic credit hours (I don't really include marching band as an academic class), I have to put an incredible amount of effort into 2 of my 4 classes. On average I write about 6 papers a week for my Creative Writing workshop class, and for my god-awful World Literature class I need to pay attention or else fail miserably. Have I mentioned how much I hate my professor for that class? If not, let me say it: I hate my World Literature professor.

Last week was more or less our "Rush Week" for Kappa Kappa Psi and Tau Beta Sigma. In total we have about 30 or so potential membership candidates interested in joining our organization. Next week is our Bid Night, so we'll determine from there who will be extended an invite. Depending on who receives a bid next week, I think I know whom I may want for a Little Brother and a Little Sister. We'll see how it all plays out.

Yesterday was our first home football game against Marshall. The Falcons won 44-28. Our first halftime show "Bohemian Rhapsody" went exceptionally well also. Last night reminded me yet again how thankful I am I chose to continue music in college and be a part of such an amazing group of musicians, music and non-music majors alike. Though I thought it was a little bit of a low blow when, during Tuba Cheers, the Sax cheer was "You still owe Eddie a new phone!" Ironically enough, I was with Eddie when he went to purchase a new phone since he broke his old one, thus the saxophones do not owe him one.

I have to be at work in a few hours. Yuck. So hopefully by napping earlier today I'll be ready for the chaos of what lies ahead.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

A Clinger

2010-09-06T09:24:00.002-04:00

For reasons unknown, I have been feeling incredibly useless lately.

I go to work, I go to school, I hang out with friends, but I still feel like I'm a wasted space sometimes, or that I'm too needy and need to rely on others to feel a thrive of happiness.

This past week I've had some very quality sax bonding time. I finally had dinner with most of the Nugeyes and they liked that I was there with them. I enjoyed being in their company as well, but I still felt.... useless. A small group of us went to rock climbing, and while I did not partake in this frightening activity, I did sit on the bench and converse and observe those who did. I had my picture taken a couple times, and we all smiled and laughed, but... I don't know, it just felt out-of-place for me. On Saturday I went to B-Dubbs for the third time that week (I must be a regular by now) to watch the BG vs. Troy game with the saxes who didn't go home this weekend, and while I did have a few conversations with some of them, a part of me still felt a little dumb for being there. It also didn't help that the B-Dubbs we were at couldn't get the game on, but oh well.

I've also had quite a bit of Big/Little bonding time this past week. I'm pretty sure I've spent at least a half hour or more with Eddie every day since Monday. And it's been great, at least for me. I feel like I'm actually wanted when I hang out with my Big Brother, something I don't always feel when I'm with my other friends. I also saw Alex a few times this past week, which was weird but wonderful nonetheless. Anyway, I think last night I went past the line for excessively hanging out. I made a Meijer run and got some food essentials and baked cookies at Eddie's place, and we watched FOX Sunday TV shows, something I haven't done for quite a while. Usually I work Sunday nights, but because it's a special holiday weekend, my schedule was rearranged this one time only. ANYWAY, as we were sitting and watching TV, Eddie looked at me and asked, "So, why don't you wanna go home, Little?"

I took the hint. But why don't I ever wanna go home? I told Eddie it was because I still felt like I was in high school when I went home, and there was really nothing to do, which is partially true. Okay, maybe it's entirely true. I hate having to drive twenty-some minutes to and from BG every day, and every time I am home that odd, dark feeling of not really living at home anymore starts to consume me. I'm just a handful of college students in the FMB who still lives at home with her parents. Some people relish in the fact I can see my family every day, but they don't understand. I really wish I didn't live at home with my parents, I wish I could afford to live on my own. I feel like I'm still a high school student, except that my parents don't know my professors and they don't ask me who I hang out with as much. I loathe that feeling of being so dependent on my parents, even though I know they don't have the money. Now I feel like I'm becoming too dependent on my friends....

I wish I knew where to draw the line on my personal boundaries and stop trespassing on my friends' boundaries.

That is all.

Thank you and good day.

Staying Afloat

2010-08-28T22:25:00.002-04:00

Just like that, my summer is gone.

I survived another Fundies Week and made it into the Falcon Marching Band for a second time, making me an official Veteran. Fundies Week went all right, even though I likely spent more time in the CMA basement fitting shakos, raincoats, gauntlets and garment bags on everyone that passed through than actually learning drill outside in the ungodly August heat. The last day ended on a rather sour note when Amy (the alto squad leader) and I decided to dump two buckets of water on Eddie. Eddie's reaction did not go as I thought it would... long story short after arguing some and a thorough chew-out, his phone was fine and I went home upset that I'd never be forgiven. I think he's forgiven me to an extent, but I wouldn't be surprised if he got his revenge and returned the favor to me sometime in the future.

Oh, and I turned 20 at some point. Out of my teens and into my roaring twenties, but still too young to drink. Damn.

I also went back to work this past week. Most people who remember me from last year were happy to see me return to Hell with them. I guess that means I did something right my first year. The supervisors said I was one of their hardest workers, so I'll take that as a sign that I won't lose my job anytime soon.... hopefully.

I also began year 2 of college. With the exception of my World Literature class, I'm content with my other classes, despite how early some of them are. I get up at 6:45AM 3 days a week and 6:00AM on my work days. I feel incredibly exhausted before marching band, so I'm going to try and fit in some naps beforehand. If I can get somebody to give me a wake-up call, I should be fine. One benefit to this fall compared to last fall is that I only have evening class one night a week instead of 3 nights a week, therefore I can go home after band, eat with my family, do my homework and be to bed at a decent hour. With Kappa Kappa Psi starting up again, that may change depending on when we hold our degrees and whatnot. On the other hand, I HATE packing microwavable meals to eat on campus, and the meal plan money I thought I was going to receive has not been put on my BG1 Card yet, and at this rate I'm not sure if it ever will. Oh well, if I'm nice enough to people maybe I can mooch off them.

Other than that, I'm back into the swing of college, trying to stay afloat like everyone else in this world.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

Accomplishment

2010-08-09T22:23:00.002-04:00

I wrote a short story today.

I know that doesn't sound too impressive, but believe me, it is.

Especially when one counts in all of the following situations.

1. The last time I wrote and finished something was February 2009.

2. I've never written out an entire story in one day.

3. My short story is going to be ripped apart by ravenous beasts in my Creative Writing Workshop in less than a month.

I received an email this morning from one of my professors that starting the second week of the semester we're going to be "workshopping" each other's completed short stories or poems. I'm not too big on poetry, so I decided I'd write a short story instead. I've had the general outline of the story in my head for several months now, but hadn't put it to words until today. I began writing it around ten and, after working on and off all day, finished it by 7:15 or so. I had my sister and my mother, two of my personal critics, read it. I received their approval. I then emailed my professor and told her that I'd like to have my work read through on September 3 if it wasn't already filled. We'll see if I'm lucky #3 or not. I figured the sooner I get it over with the better, so that way the animals in my class can devour on other work as the semester drags on.

In other news, marching band starts in 8 days for me. I'm officially on the Uniform Committee so that'll hopefully enhance my chances of making it in and not getting cut. I practiced my music for an hour yesterday, but the feeling that I'm going to be beaten out by better players still lingers in the back of my mind, a dark feeling I can't shake no matter how much I practice. Still, I will put forth all my effort and hope for the best.

I feel a sense of accomplishment, and I have a little bit of optimism that I can keep up this trend for the impending semester... and most likely the remaining years of my college life.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

Another Attempt at a Revival

2010-08-05T19:24:00.004-04:00

Okay, take three.

After being trapped in college land for three fairly successful semesters and forgetting my own password to my blog, I will once again try and bring alive my flat-lined blog. Allow me to recap the last 11 months of my life.

Marching band continued on through the rest of the fall semester. The halftime shows became more challenging but also brought pride after each performance. I love my family of saxophones and the memories I've made with them all will last for a lifetime. As King Leonidas sort of once said, "Saxophones! What is your profession?" Haha we are a quirky section, but we're lovable nonetheless.

I also made friends that I cannot imagine my life without. One of my newer friends is named Eddie, whom I somehow befriended on that day I went to work in the band office the first time - I believe that's the last time I posted a blog. Eddie encouraged me to attend the informational meetings of Kappa Kappa Psi and Tau Beta Sigma, the honorary band fraternities and sororities at BGSU. Eventually, I received a bid from Kappa Kappa Psi, the Fraternity, and eventually eventually, Eddie became my Big Brother. A few short months later, through several more hours in the band office, a short but sweet girl named Beth became my Big Sister. Then, in January, I became an active Brother in Kappa Kappa Psi. Now I work in the band office every chance I get... but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I grew to despise my job more and more in the spring semester. Tuesdays through Thursdays I got up at 5AM, left my house no later than 6AM to arrive on campus by 6:30AM and begin work at 7AM. On Tuesday nights I had class till 9:30 at night, on Wednesday nights I had my meetings till 10 or 11, and Thursdays I had class till 8:30. My hours of sleep were few. This fall semester isn't looking too promising either, with a Sunday night shift from 8PM-2:30AM every week, and an 8:30AM class on Mondays. Oh well, such is life until I find a better job I actually enjoy.

Life also threw a personal curve ball; in mid-December my mother was diagnosed with Stage II Breast Cancer. Through several rounds of chemo therapy and several days of radiation treatment, my mom is finally nearing the light to this tunnel. She's a strong woman, I hope I aspire to be half as strong as she is.

The same day I found out my mom had cancer was the same day the marching band found out they weren't going to the bowl game at the end of the year. Over the next few days the university managed to find money to take the leadership and the seniors to the bowl game as well as 10 lucky people whose names were drawn from a small plastic bin. To my greatest luck, I was the second to last name drawn. A few days later 10 more lucky band kids were chosen, and together we represented The Falcon Express at the 2009 Humanitarian Bowl in Boise, Idaho. The four hour flight there and back was rather unpleasant, and the Idaho Vandals are incredibly immature, but with those exceptions the trip was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that made me so much more grateful that I chose to join the Falcon Marching Band.

I also did the annual summer musical, this year's was Oklahoma! and was probably one of the best times I've had doing a summer show. Maybe it was the outstanding cast or the lack of children in the show, either way I had a great time and made some new friends and strengthened my current friendships.

Now, here I am, sitting in the living room, typing on my laptop while half-watching a Wipeout rerun when I should be studying for a Spanish final. Now that I know my password to this blog, maybe it'll be easier to put down my daily ramblings. We'll see as my summer winds down and the school year starts up.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

Canceling Out

2009-09-08T21:59:00.002-04:00

I may not be phenomenal in math (or even know much math at all), but I do know that when a positive cancels out a negative, the answer is zero, or even. After today, I'm pretty sure I canceled out the bad day I had last week.

Last Monday was what I will refer to as "FML Day." For some reason I didn't think I had to work last week, so I was going to sleep in. I got a call at 8 in the morning on my cell phone. I dragged myself out of bed and answered the phone like I was drunk. "Hellllooo?" An angry drunk.

"Hello, is this Christine?"

Oh, shit. They used my real name. Only the people at work use my real name.

"Yeah."

"Hi, this is _____ _____ from Student Dining, and our schedule says you were supposed to work at 7:30 today?"

"What?" I was confused. "But, this is A week. I work B week and A weekend. I don't work this week."

"No, we alternate weekends, not the weeks."

"Oh..." reality just bitch-slapped me across the face. "Ohhhhhhhhh snap! Ohmygod, I'm so sorry! I'm so, so so so so sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to!"

"That's perfectly fine. How soon can you get here?"

My mind was racing. "I can get there in an hour."

"Okay, well, just take your time and we'll see you in an hour."

"Okay, thank you so much! I'm so, so, so sorry!" I wanted to cry. I started to. I ran to the shower and shampooed and shaved as quick as humanly possible. After stepping out of the shower I started to cry again. I brought my towel to my tearing eyes and dabbed the tears before racing around again. Fifteen minutes I dashed out of the house and sped to work. I got there within the hour I said I would.

After starting off on a bad note, it's very hard to turn your day around. My day progressively grew worse from parking in one of the back rows to forgetting that the marching band was in the actual stadium. I very much wanted to scream "F*ck my life!" constantly throughout the day, but I couldn't, mostly because I didn't want to offend more people than I already have. I went home and just wanted to sleep and cry. I was uber angry, like a walking time bomb. The day after was better, but it wasn't till today that I'm convinced I redeemed my bad day with a good day.

Despite having to wake up early to take my littlest brother to the orthodontist, I ended up going to campus earlier than ever on a regular school day. I had one and a half cups of coffee, got tater tots and bacon (with ketchup, mind you), wrote most of a song that I've had in my head for a while, was praised by my writing professor for my rough draft, basically had my only real class of the day canceled, did my service to the band by posting stickers of addresses on envelopes, watched the video of our first show last week, got caught in the moment for the first half of Chicago Part III, and ran through new music, and had a nostalgic feeling. I later had a dentist appointment, to which the dentists said my teeth were healthy and outstanding and wouldn't stop gushing about how good they looked. This had to be my good day, it had to be!

Hopefully this short week will continue be filled with better times than worse. Of course I have to work on Wednesday and Friday, so maybe not. But who knows? So far things have been looking on the bright side.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

It's Alive!

2009-09-07T18:40:00.002-04:00

So, obviously it has been a while since I was last on here. To anybody who actually reads this, sorry to keep you waiting, ha.

A lot has happened since June 4, 2008. I went to Drum Major Camp, I went to Nebraska, I started senior year, I over-committed myself to projects as usual, and, to cut to the end, I graduated from high school.

Chapter 2: College!

I got a job, I am working in the dining services at the student union on campus. It could be better, but it sure as hell could also be much worse. The people there have been extremely patient with me, and for that I'm grateful. My major is creative writing, and I'm pretty sure that I want to write for television for a living, ultimately, Saturday Night Live. I already got a couple ideas brewing in my head, and when the time is right, I will unleash them to the world. I've also made it into the Falcon Marching Band, and my friends and family couldn't be prouder of me. I'm also proud of myself, and I'm even prouder of the fact that I even attempted to go for college band, since I haven't marched a halftime show in 2 years. But the band family is very supportive, and the positive attitude really makes a difference and draws the fine line between high school band and college band. All in all, things are going about as well as can be expected I suppose.

I won't lie by telling you that I was nothing but stoked to start college. I was terrified, and I hated how my life was changing. I still do. I'm starting my third week of college tomorrow, and even though it feels like I've been in college for months, I'm still terrified. I used to think I was terrified of the changes around me, but after giving myself a reality check over the past few days, I realized that I'm terrified of the changes in me. Not like physical changes (making it into the college marching band has really helped me stay in shape), more like the personality changes.

Two weeks ago I thought I'd be the one who kept calling her high school friends whenever she had free time just to tell them she missed them and was going to the football game on Friday night just to see their faces. After the reality check I've come to terms that I am actually the one who graduates and rarely stays in touch, whether because she's too busy or just doesn't care. I do care, honestly, but I don't care enough to call my high school buddies and tell them how much I miss them every chance I get. I'm sure they know I miss them, but if they want to get in touch with me they can. After all, I'm living at home and I drive by my high school every day I go to school. I was hoping I'd be the graduate who always came back every other week to say hello (and after last week, maybe I will), but... I don't know.

I'm having a hard time figuring out myself. I'm starting to think I'm slowly reverting back to the old me. The Christy when she was 14 years old and was depressed all the time. The Christy who would pull her hoodie over her head and curl up and not talk to anyone, and I mean nobody. The overly shy Christy that I worked so hard to pull her hoodie off her head and let her curls hang out... it took me a long time to change myself, and I feel that college is squandering me back to my old ways. I don't want that to happen, but if it's meant to happen, then hopefully I can overcome it a second time.

It also doesn't help that I've never been in a relationship and it feels like all of my friends have their boyfriend or girlfriend to hang out with. I hate saying that I feel lonely and under-appreciated, but I do. It kills me to see my friends holding the hands of their lovers, and here I am, being the extra wheel, the single friend. I mean, being single has its perks; I don't have to worry about what my guy would want for his birthday, or for Christmas or whatever holiday he celebrates, and I don't have to waste my money buying crap for him. But at the same time, I want to spend money on a guy, a guy who is my special man and I am his special woman. On the other hand, I really don't have time to be in a committed relationship, and I never have had time to commit to a relationship. Is it because I purposely over-commit myself or maybe because I'm too picky? I tend to fall for older guys, and, unfortunately I also have the tendency to fall for man-whore douche bags. Maybe I should reset my standards...

All in all, I will try and revive my blog back to its original glory, if it had any, and I will keep any and all readers posted as I continue my ramblings on: the words from a disorganized mind.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

Crossing my Fingers

2008-06-04T21:09:00.002-04:00

No, I have not abandoned the blog, I've just been really busy.

To recap since my last posting, I'm an official senior now. The Otsego Class of 2008 graduated on June 2nd, moving up my class, the Class of 2009, as the top dog of our school. As scary as that sounds, I look forward to being a senior. My fellow band seniors and I have great plans for next year, most of them involving gifts to our teachers. It will definitely be the time to make the most of everything, and I cannot wait.

I am also looking for employment. I've applied to four different places out of six, and hopefully someone will call me this week. I could really use the money for a few upcoming expenses, as well as a little more green in my wallet, so having a job would be really beneficial right now.

Tomorrow the band will be going to Cedar Point, as will I. While I'm not a big fan of roller coasters, I know I will enjoy hanging out with my friends. The week of June 15th I will be at Drum Major Camp, this year at Walsh University. Meghan, Carissa and I will all be going since there are three of us who will be conducting the marching band this fall. The week after I will be in Nebraska for the International Thespian Conference, since I am the State Student Officer for the Northwest Ohio Area of the Ohio Education Theatre Association Board Chapter or something like that. I'm not looking forward to flying there... but it should be fun no matter what, even if I won't know anybody there.

Then in July I will be performing in the musical Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. We're kind of off to a slow start right now, but we'll pull through as usual. I hope...

I also hate the economy and am now solely convinced it is going to Hell. Other than that I don't believe I have anything else of mild interest to say.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

My Life (As of the Past Two Weeks)

2008-05-17T09:58:00.002-04:00

Bang, Bang, You're Dead went pretty well. Although the crowds were small, everyone seemed to like it - except for my brothers. The Sunday after our family went out to eat at Bob Evans to celebrate my sister and I participating in Beauty and the Beast. It was a very enjoyable time, I must say.

The week went by rather quickly, and I don't remember much of what happened, except for feelings of excitement and then a feeling of being abandoned and then a feeling of being angry. I couldn't wait for prom, and to put on my dress and have my cousin come down from Michigan and do my hair. Ladies and gentlemen, after waiting a very long time, I will now reveal to you my prom dress for the 2008 Otsego Senior Prom:

Ta-da! I chose the white one. I punk'd a lot of people since a good majority of my friends were convinced I chose the blue one. Still, they all thought I looked nice. Although I cannot speak for everybody, I had an amazing time at prom. I went to my friend's house for more pictures after this one was taken, then we drove to another friend's house for more pictures, then that friend drove all of us (there was another friend and her date in the car) to the place where our prom was being held. Everyone looked so beautiful in their dresses and tuxes, and nobody was being catty and the atmosphere was positive and lively. The food was really good, and so was the cake. The DJ could have played fewer rap songs, but I sort of expected that. I danced with several guys - most of them had dates but didn't seem to care that they were dancing with me. Prom ended at eleven thirty, and we went back to my second friend's house so we could get changed for post prom and all drive separately to the high school. Post prom was all right, even though I spent more time eating and less time doing the activities. I didn't get home until almost 4:30, and I was out within minutes.

The Monday and Tuesday following prom were nice, because I was still receiving compliments about how pretty I looked in my dress. On Wednesday I met with a PSEOP person at BGSU, and I should be finding out today whether or not I made it into their English Department for next year. Yesterday was our reading auction at school, and even though I didn't get the things I wanted, I did receive a lot of fun and random things, which was more fun winning with my little mafia than trying to win it alone. I also got a haircut last night. It is a lot shorter, but I like it, and I hope my friends like it, too. I am now doing a project for somebody, although the individual is not aware of it, but it's going to require a lot of time, and that is what I will be doing most of today, along with cleaning the house. I look forward to it.

That is all.

Thank you and good day.

Punk and Circumstance

2008-05-03T11:46:00.005-04:00

Many things have happened between my last post and this post. For starters, I came down with some type of stomach bug the Monday after the Chicken Barbecue and missed school on Tuesday. By Wednesday I found out that the person playing the main character's mother in Bang, Bang, You're Dead quit the show, and I was now the mom. Opening night was last night, and it ran pretty smooth. I have two shows today, and then I'll be done with Drama Club productions for the rest of this school year.

However, I am now also doing the community theatre summer musical, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I'm a wife, but I'm not sure if I have a husband or not. We still need more brothers... I've been trying to convince Adam to do it, but he's worried that he's going to be too busy looking for a job to do a musical.

Speaking of Adam... between seventh period and ninth period yesterday, he decided to let Laine shave his head except for one row and gel his hair into spikes to get a sweet-looking Mohawk. Now, I have nothing against people who shave their heads, I mean, it's their hair, not mine. Adam can do whatever the hell he wants with his hair... it just, well... shocked me to see his hair look like that after not seeing him for an entire period. I'm pretty sure he knew I was a little pissed about it, and now I feel like a bitch for overreacting. Just to show my brothers and parents what he did, I took a picture of him and his "New Kid" haircut:

Dammit, Adam! I told him I'd get used to it, but he said he was going to shave it off by the time he was going to graduate this afternoon. Hence the title of this post is "Punk and Circumstance." I wonder how many people would hire him because of his hair... he's still looking for a job. I hope he finds one, since he needs the money. I did apply for a job myself, but then I found out the owner of the restaurant is a drug dealer... so if they ever call me, I'm not taking the job. But I'm sure I could get a lot more money working there... no, my parents won't let me get the job. So now I have to look for another job, hopefully close to home.

On a final note, prom is next weekend. Although I do not have a date, and as much as I wish I could have asked that certain someone to the dance, I'm sure I will still have fun and still feel like the prettiest girl there. And then you will all find out which dress I got... can you guess?

That is all.

Thank you and good day.

A Change in Me

2008-04-19T21:10:00.004-04:00

To recap the last two weekends, both went very well.

State Conference was very much enjoyable, despite one of our cast members getting a concussion near the end of the first act of our show. The audience who came to see us was whooping and and hollering the entire time, even when the techies came out, so we knew we were entertaining them well. At the end we received a standing ovation. The Hunt was a huge success! I hope we made our director proud, even though she was extremely pissed that she missed the second act of show, as she was with Eric in the hospital. Eric was fine, and by Monday, things were fairly back to normal.

Beauty and the Beast went very well also. Opening night was fairly nerve-wracking, along with the other openings the next three nights, but I've heard nothing but compliments about the show. I think this production was the first time I'd get extremely nervous right before every single show. Usually after opening night I'm fine, but this show was different. I think the best thing about the weekend altogether was the Sunday show - no rubber chickens!! We didn't change anything! Oh, if only my mother had been there to see that we had STOPPED a tradition. After last year's musical she refused to ever come to a Sunday show... perhaps next year she'll change her mind. If we keep this new tradition going, that is...

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were my three days of grace. My three days of absolutely nothing in the evening, eating freshly made food with the family, and doing absolutely nothing after supper. It felt so weird to be home. Before those three days home had merely become a place to sleep and occasionally eat. Now that I was actually there, during daylight hours, with all the family members awake, it felt odd yet brought back many memories, from before my life became a fast-moving train of craziness.

It's not that I got nothing productive done over those three days; I actually got many things accomplished. For example, I finally got a sign made for Mr. Phan. And I made thank-you cards for the student music teachers to go along with their presents (that Mom paid for and wrapped, of course). That was my main goal, and I got it accomplished. I could've gotten some things on my research paper done, or worked on my chemistry or math, but I found it hard to concentrate. Maybe it was the weather warming up, or the fact that in less than two months school would finally be over. Whatever the case, I got very little done in my classes involving numbers this week. It just felt so nice to not have to go anywhere to please anybody or to give my one-hundred percent and be told that it wasn't enough. I needed a break, since my last break between shows was from the time we finished striking the set of Anne of Green Gables at 6PM on a Sunday evening, to The Hunt auditions the next day at 3PM. I deserved a break after doing two shows that were very heavy on the ensemble. I deserved some days of grace. And those were my three days of grace.

Now I'm back. Back in the chaos. Thursday night there was a Thespian meeting, and as much as I was hoping we'd cancel the Thespian show... we didn't. Some seniors felt that their last year would "suck" if they didn't do another show. Despite the fact that we had six seniors direct the One Acts shows, despite the fact that the seniors got to do a fall show (Alice in Wonderland), despite the fact that the seniors participated in the first production ever of an originally-written play done by our very director AND we took that play to the OHIO STATE THESPIAN CONFERENCE and performed in on the SATURDAY SLOT on the MAIN STAGE (which is pretty much the highest honor anyone can receive), they still felt that the year would suck if we didn't do a Thespian show. So now we're doing Bang! Bang! You're Dead in just two weeks, and I'm (thankfully) just a chorus member. Rehearsals are beginning on Monday, and luckily they're only from 4-6, which means I can still come home and eat with the family while the food is still hot from the oven. I just hope this show will be worth it in the end.

Yesterday was probably the best day of the year so far. Nothing special or exciting even really happened (minus the earthquake that rocked the Midwest and I think awoke me at 5:40 in the morning), but I just felt really good about myself. My self-esteem was pretty high yesterday. Maybe it was because I was wearing green flip-flops, or a green shirt, or a strapless bra, but whatever the case, I just felt... well, awesome. I gave Mr. Phan his parting gift, since yesterday was technically his last day. He adored the Spongebob wrapping paper (which he carefully unwrapped), and the card I made even more. But he really liked the gift I picked out for him, so he couldn't have been happier. Then I gave him his own sign, and that just made his day. It's now in the band room, just like Mr. Landry's sign once hung in the choir room.

I also gave Mr. Landry his gift yesterday. He was also very careful about unwrapping the Spongebob paper, and even more careful about the box that had the gift inside. He liked the card, and the gift, and the edible gifts, so I was pretty happy that he appreciated our family thinking of him. He gave me a hug, which I gladly gave back, and then went home.

Only to go to the elementary school to pick up my brothers and then drive to Toledo to go shopping with my mother. I was still in high spirits, so when Mom paid for my clothes, I wore something I never thought I'd ever see myself wear... pink. A plaid pink skirt, with a light pink shirt under a darker pink shirt. Complete with a rhinestone pink headband, pink sandals (both items courtesy of my sister), and pink nails. I think I've truly lost my mind. Or maybe I've changed. I seem to be a lot happier about myself these days, and I'm even happier when a certain somebody talks to me. It shows he acknowledges my existence, which is always nice for a guy to do. I've started drinking coffee again because of him, and I'm wearing pink of my own free will. I'm not sure if he inspired me to wear pink but... there's been a change in me. I like him, a lot, maybe if he realizes it, he might like me too... but I highly doubt anything will happen. Nothing can happen right now, at least for another year. Maybe if he's still single and stays around the area, and I stay single and wait a very long time... who knows? It could happen.

On a final note, we had our chicken barbecue today to raise money for the music boosters. I felt very satisfied with jazz band, very content with women's choir, decent for chorale and fairly well for concert band. And now I am tired, and would like to earn some sleep at some point.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

Spring Break: An Overly Committed High School Teenager's Story

2008-03-30T16:29:00.004-04:00

To put it in simple terms, I pretty much wasted my spring break.

The only time I was home for a solid twenty-four hours was the Monday after Easter. I can no longer remember what I did the Saturday before Easter, but on Easter Sunday itself our family went to the eastern part of the state to celebrate with relatives. It was actually very nice. The Monday after I stayed at home and did absolutely nothing except listen to the petty arguments between my brothers over some GameBoy dispute. I did call Kelly and asked her when she was available to make the sign. We decided to wait until Friday.

Tuesday I went to the high school and helped paint the castle among other things. Surprisingly it was a pretty good turn out. Even though my hair suffered a little wind blowing, it felt nice to just come to school in a T-shirt and sweats, which ended up covered in paint by the end of the day.

Wednesday I returned to the high school and repainted the stairs to the castle, only to have to repaint them again four hours later. I left the school very angry and drove around the block before pulling into my driveway, where my brothers began to beat on the car windows, singing Beatles songs at the top of their lungs. Only a few short hours later I was back at the high school for rehearsal for The Hunt, as we will be performing this in front of an audience of 1,000 or so at State Conference this coming weekend. All in all, the rehearsal went pretty well.

Thursday my sister and I went to a four hour rehearsal of Beauty and the Beast, and then I rushed home to frost cookies before heading to a surprise birthday party for Mr. Phan, the student choir teacher. The plan was a success, as well as the cookies my mom and I made. I would've made them myself, but my cooking tends to turn people away from food rather than bring them to food. I was able to get home by midnight in freezing rain and snow.

Friday morning I went prom dress shopping with my mother... and my sister and brothers. After trying on four different dresses, I narrowed it down to these two.

The first one here is a very elegant dress. The little dots you see are black and silver, and I love the white, even though I promised myself I wouldn't wear a white dress until my wedding day. My sister liked how it gave my figure shape and didn't make me look fat. There was also this dress here.

This dress really brought out my eyes and made me look really slim. I loved the various shades of blue. Alissa and Brian both thought it very nice on me. Trevor refused to comment on any of the dresses I wore because none of them had straps. I thought it was cute that he was looking out for his big sister. One of the dresses gave me the fear of pulling a "wardrobe malfunction", and since they didn't have another one in a smaller size, I went with the other dress. But I'm not even going to tell my readers (if any) which dress I got until after prom night. It's a wait-and-see game, and everyone will have to wait to see what dress I will be donning on May 10, 2008.

Friday afternoon Kelly, her boyfriend Jordan, and I finally got together and made the sign for Mr. Landry, the student band teacher. The good news is it's almost complete with just a few more details. The bad news is that the spray paint soaked through the fabric and onto the concrete area where we made the sign... which was at one of the elementary schools. Kelly and I are extremely worried that we are going to get in trouble for putting graffiti that reads "We <3 Mr. Landry!" on school property, but Jordan doesn't appear worried. As long as we don't get caught (and I have a feeling that eventually we will be) everything should be fine.

Yesterday I returned to the high school to help rebuild the set for The Hunt so we could practice setting up and taking apart the set in an hour when we actually go to state. I lifted many heavy platforms, and today my shoulders are paying the price. Tomorrow our school goes back into session, and we begin fourth quarter. This weekend I will be at State Conference for Thespians at Ashland University, the weekend after I will be performing as a chorus member in Beauty and the Beast. The weekend after... who knows? All I know is that chaos lies ahead, and I must prepare for rough waters.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

Spring Break: The Epitome of the Second Semester

2008-03-21T17:54:00.002-04:00

I really do not think there is nothing a high school student looks more forward to in the second semester than spring break.

Despite I still have homework to keep myself busy over the next week, I do have a few plans for my time off from school, which involves making a huge sign with Kelly and a few of my other friends to top the choir kids. It's a rather long story, and I don't want to go any further into the subject.

In other news, I am happy to say that I am the SSO representative of the Northwest Ohio Area. I was informed on St. Patrick's Day, and the luck of the Irish must have really been with me that day. I'm very pleased with myself and look forward to having an even crazier life over the next year. Don't worry, I'll make it through... hopefully with a small bit of sanity still clutched to me.

I also saw The Lion King a second time with my family last Sunday. It's even more exhilarating the second time around. The night before I had a friend go backstage after the show to have the cast sign a poster of his that his aunt bought him. At the same time, his great uncle bought a copy of the same poster, unaware that his wife had gotten one already. Long story short, my friend gave me the other poster. I could not have been more grateful to him, and I will miss him terribly when he graduates.

Graduation. I still have another year until I have the privilege of donning the famous cap and wearing the robe while I go to shake hands of authoritative figures and grab my high school diploma. Every year I get one step closer. After this school year, I'll be a senior. As scary as the thought sounds, and as heartbreaking as it is to watch all of my friends older than I am graduate, I must remember this: Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

The Things to Look Forward To

2008-03-15T12:08:00.002-04:00

It's been a while since I updated, but since nobody knows I have a blog site, it doesn't really matter.

Well, I did see Lion King that Wednesday night. To put it in easy terms, it was amazing. I felt like a child as I watched the entire show from start to finish, getting very excited at literally everything. The night got even better, but I'd rather keep that moment of true kindness to myself for now... at least for now, that is.

Tomorrow I will be seeing the Lion King again, this time with my family. I cannot stress enough how wonderful a production these people have put on. If any of you fellow bloggers have the chance of seeing the Lion King on tour, SEE IT! It is definitely worth the money, without a doubt worth it!

Spring break is also approaching within the week. I will be celebrating my Easter in the eastern part of Ohio with family, since my grandfather would rather have his Mexican girlfriend's family over than his own. Nevertheless, I will still get to see my cousins, and it will be a blast, especially with food.

In a few more weeks, I will be at the State Thespian conference at Ashland University, where our drama club will be performing The Hunt in front of an audience that seats almost 2,000.
I'm trying not to feel intimidated yet. The week after our music department will be putting on Beauty and the Beast at our high school. Although rehearsals seem to be more of a pee-on than anything right now, I have faith that we will do our best... except for our Sunday show... I don't want to talk about it.

That is all.

Thank you and good day.

The Excitement of No School

2008-03-05T09:57:00.002-05:00

I am very pleased to say that due to five inches of snow and some ice, our school, along with many in the area, is closed today. That is pretty awesome. Despite that we will now be making up at least one school day in June, I really could care less right now.

I have a lot to look forward to today, and many good things have happened in recent days. On Sunday I was inducted in the International Thespian Society, which was a very good event and is a huge honor to be a part of. Tonight, grant the weather will cooperate, I will be attending the performance of "The Lion King" at the Stranahan. I can not wait.

Next week the juniors and seniors have a 2-hr delay schedule all week because the freshmen and sophomores will be taking the required Ohio Graduation Test. Another thing I cannot wait for. The week after will be our last week before spring break. So many things I cannot wait for, but I'll have to. Because that's what life is about; waiting for the best things.

That is all.

Thank you and good day.

One Quick Breath of Calmness

2008-02-18T20:34:00.002-05:00

Many things have happened since I last posted. Most of them good. A few of them not so good.

First off, my detention has been revoked. Since there were no books in my bag at the time of the announcement, I had no reason to serve my detention, so it was simply ripped up. That was good to hear.

Also, after many weeks of hard work, our drama club production was screened to fill in the highest ranked time slot at the state conference in April. I could not be more pleased with ourselves.

Saturday night I made some very poor choices on my part, some of it involving the police, most of it involving breaking curfew by ten minutes. My parents could not be more disappointed in me. It wasn't until afterwards that I asked myself what the hell was I thinking, because all I wanted to do was help my friends. My parents told me not to do that if cops have them pulled over.

Today was open house at BGSU. My mother and I attended and acquired a lot of information. I've somewhat narrowed down my choices to what I want to do now, but I'm still not sure. I still have time.

In other news, the writers' strike has finally come to an end after a three month period of fighting the Man known to them as the AMPTP. I'm very excited to have good television shows come back on instead of the reality television that seems to be spreading like cancer through public TV.

Besides the above mentioned, I'm trying to get my grades back up before the end of third quarter, especially math. I'm being tutored tomorrow, and hopefully it will work.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

Fighting the Man

2008-02-12T19:32:00.000-05:00

Today I was given a detention. A detention for probably the dumbest reason for a detention to be given: I carry around a big bag.

In the student handbook, it states that no book bags are to be carried around in school. You are allowed to carry a bag, but the bag cannot contain any books. That's how I've gotten through the school year so far. Until today. During my English class today, I was trying to finish reading The Scarlet Letter when the principal came on the air. He told the teachers to write up all the students who had big bags. In under five minutes, six of the eight kids in my class, myself included, held the golden ticket, the student's portion of the detention slip. "This is bullshit," I said aloud, but quiet enough that the English teacher didn't hear me. "We get a detention for carrying around bags but nobody gets a detention for wearing sweatpants (sweatpants are considered a violation of the school dress code)." Before leaving the classroom my teacher said, "Fight the Man." And it stuck with me.

Apparently I wasn't the only one pissed off about the ordeal. At least half the school received a detention from my understanding because of this sudden enforcement of a school rule that hadn't been enforced so far this year. When a group of us girls approached the Man about the issue, he stated anyone who had a book bag would be given a detention. At the time of the announcement I had no books in my bag, only two binders and a magazine. I felt extremely grateful that I cleaned out my bag over the weekend when searching for my Girls' State papers (which I failed to fill out on time). Now I was angry. I still am to an extent. My friend and I confronted the Man after school to fight him about this, and he said he could argue for us tomorrow to see whether or not we deserved our detention. I cannot help but feel like I am going on trial tomorrow, and my case is the only thing that will prove me guilty or not guilty. So now I need to prove my point so that I can fight the Man and win.

In other news, my hometown had a bit of a flood over the weekend. I drove through town and took pictures with my cell phone. Let's see if I can post my favorites up.

The day before this was a detour for thru traffic. Almost ironic... almost.

Front Street, downtown area. I was actually standing on a large dry area in between the floodwaters to take this picture.

Second Street's point of view of the downtown flooding. I slipped on the hill as I walked down to take this pic. Be grateful.

This road intersects with the first picture at the top. This is my road I live on, just two miles from my house. The first pic and this one made it on the news to my understanding. Wished I saw it.

That appears to be it for now. If you'll excuse me, I have a case to build for myself.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

In Between Two Moments of Chaos Lies Contentment

2008-02-02T20:50:00.000-05:00

For the most part right now, life isn't too bad.

I love my friends, I'm pretty sure they love me, and other than my parents being disappointed in me, I have little to complain about. Let's just say a certain subject that involves numbers is pulling me down as always. Can you guess it? As usual, the bosses at home can't seem to get it through their heads that sometimes it's the teacher's fault that the student isn't doing well, not the student. God forbid a teacher can't teach - or so my mother thinks. Somehow I'll pull through, whether it's through tutoring or attempting to teach myself, I'll find a way.

Honors Choir went very well. This morning I had solo and ensemble. I received a superior rating on my vocal solo. I'm proud of myself, I must say. If I receive another superior rating next year, then I'll have four straight years of superior ratings. But that will have to wait until next year.

In other news, the performance weekend for The Hunt is rapidly approaching. I have all of my lines memorized... now I must gather my costume accessories. In a few weeks I will also have to be fitted into costumes for the spring musical, Beauty and the Beast. We've already begun blocking for the opening number; I play the Aristocratic Lady. I like to think of her as the rich bitch. I think I will enjoy portraying her as we progress into the show. So far she's a very complex and catty chorus member. I wonder what kitchen appliance I will be for "Be Our Guest"...

Before I leave, I would like to leave a link for any readers I may have to listen to a song I performed with the District 1 Honors Choir. It is called "Omnia Sol." Although this is not the choir I performed in, we sang this and it is probably the most beautiful piece I've ever heard. Just click here.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

Quarantine Me, Please!

2008-01-25T17:06:00.000-05:00

My flu has been lifted for the most part.

I swear the school is what is keeping me sick. These past two mornings I've woken up and felt great; the moment I step into the school I'm back to coughing and having a runny nose. Everybody's sick right now and there's no way around it. At school right now, for every ten kids, only one of them is completely healthy. No one can escape the flu epidemic in a community as tightly-knit as ours. As a joke I suggested we shut down the school to sanitize everything. No one of high authority took me seriously.

This weekend I have Honors Choir rehearsal, and then the performance for the Honors Festival will be held at the Stranahan on Sunday. Last night was our first rehearsal. Already I've run into people from other districts I know and am friends with. The one choir director really bothered me, though. He looked like a thirteen-year old trying to look like he's thirty, and he was only about five feet tall. That and whenever he spoke, I'd ask myself if I'd be able to tell the difference between him and a Munchkin from the land of Oz if I ever ran into him on the street.

In other news, it's been 30 years since the infamous blizzard of '78. I obviously wasn't around to know how that went over, but from the media and my parents' stories, I can get a good concept of it.

You know what would be fun? Going to a taping of Conan O'Brien. I'm not sure if I'd do it now, since I support the WGA, but I'm sure that once the strike is over the famed Late Night talkshow host is saying adios to the beard. As odd as it sounds, I'm finding the beard very sexy right now. KEEP IT, CONAN!! Not that he reads this, or anybody for that matter...

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

Ignorance

2008-01-17T22:07:00.000-05:00

Thursday was Red Carpet Day.

As I had reported earlier, I thought about dressing up as a striking writer. On Monday night I worked on my picket sign. Wednesday night I was up till 11 looking for my Writer's Digest T-shirt that my dad gave to me. Today I carried around my picket sign and wore the shirt. At some point I will post up the picture here. Much to my surprise, few people understood what I was going for. When I told them I was on strike in support for the WGA, their reaction was mostly, "There's a strike going on?"

Well, duh of course there is a strike! Does nobody notice when their favorite television shows
go into reruns for over two and a half months?! That's because the AMPTP are being complete assholes and won't give the writers what they deserve! Did anybody watch the People's Choice Awards? Of course not, it was pointless! The writer's are the heart of the movies and shows; without them, the rest simply die. That is exactly what is happening to television right now... it's dying.

I've had serious thoughts of becoming a writer when I grow up. But if I'm not receiving pay from Internet sales that I know I deserve some share of the profit from them, then I better pick up a new skill... but I'm not talented enough in anything else. So what do I do now?

In other news, what was supposed to be a fun day today turned out to be the opposite. It seems I have some kind of flu, and I feel horrible. I was supposed to be hanging out with my friends at this awesome conference and then go to the winter homecoming later on tonight with my date. I'm too sick to leave the house, but my friends promised me they'd call me so that I could dance with my date via cell phones. It's kindness like that when I know I have the greatest friends in the world...

That is all.

Thank you and goodnight.

The Light in the Darkness

2008-01-14T18:28:00.000-05:00

So things around here have been a lot better now.

Mom's still in a lot of pain but that's because she had her stint pulled out today. Her surgery on Friday went very well, and she's been doped up on pain meds for over a week. She's trying to reach her goal of going back to work by tomorrow, but with the way she's acting I'm doubtful she'll be able to.

In stupid math news, I got a C on my exam (I was damn lucky because I got a 10% extra credit for doing a studyguide), so as far as I am concerned, I can still drive. Thank God!! Now I have a whole new semester to worry about, but hey, at least half of the year is already over, so I should be able to pull through the next semester.

In other news, this week this what's known at our school as Spirit week. Each day students can dress up according to the theme of the day to get pepped up for Friday night's homecoming game. Today was Pajama/Sports Day (which I totally dressed up in PJ's). Tomorrow is Incognito Day; I want to wear a paper bag over my head, but my parents won't let me drive to the store just to get a stupid paper bag. Wednesday is Eskimo Day, which I am not participating in since I have nothing Eskimo-related whatsoever. Thursday is red carpet day. I will be carrying around a Writer's Strike picketing sign that I am currently working on. Friday is traditional Spirit Day, in which we wear our school colors:- orange, black, and white- in whatever fashion tickles your fancy. I usually just wear a school shirt and PJ bottoms, but I'm trying to get more festive. Saturday is the winter homecoming dance. I'm going with somebody, but since he's gay it is strictly just a friend thing. I still love him, though, as a friend. It's amazing who you can become friends with in high school...

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

Scared

2008-01-08T22:14:00.000-05:00

These past few days have worried me a lot.

Starting with my mother's health. Dad took her to the ER late Sunday night, and she just came home this afternoon, but has to go back again on Friday. I stayed up until 2:30 Monday morning, almost keeping vigil as I waited for my dad to call and tell me she would be all right. It wasn't until about 3:50 when I finally received the call in the middle of my sleep. My mom has two kidney stones, so she's getting them broken up on Friday. But while I lay in bed in those early hours, I cried on and off, thinking of the worst, praying for the best. I asked God to help Mom through this, and to help me help her. I think He listened.

Today I took my math exam. It was what I like to call "a suicide test." A kind of test that makes me want to go commit suicide because my brain can no longer seem to function properly since I stared at a bunch of numbers and pointless equations for an hour and a half. I didn't even finish the entire test, and half of it I BS'd so I wouldn't be surprised if I ended up having my driver's license taken away by the end of next week.

On a more positive note, the weather in my area of Ohio is in the fifties, which is anything but normal this time of year. I kind of like it like this, except for the high winds and the rain. That I could do without.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

The Inner Bitch

2008-01-04T21:46:00.000-05:00

I have a theory. Although I'm not really sure I can prove it, I still believe in it.

My theory is that every female is a bitch and every guy is an ass.

I think that no matter how sweet or courteous you may be on the exterior, you have an inner bitch or an inner ass deep inside you that occasionally comes out into the spotlight at some unexpected moment. Some of us show our bitchy or jackass side all the time, whereas others try to hide it from the world, convinced they don't have one or will never reveal it. Be honest: we've all done or said some rather inappropriate things. Is that just being yourself? Or is that the evil side of you showing its colors? I feel reminded of Star Wars when I think of these things...

In English we've been reading excerpts from a book called "Nineteen Minutes." My teacher said the second half of the book is rather inappropriate for our age, so she's just copying things out of the first half. We've been getting into some rather deep and thought-provoking conversations since we got back to school yesterday after reading these excerpts. Yesterday we were talking about how in life, everybody is playing multiple roles during the day. When I'm in class, I play the role of the student and act how I believe a student should behave. With friends, I act out the part of being what I consider a good friend: funny, caring, and occasionally a smart-ass. At home with my family, I play the "leave-me-alone" sister and the "you still treat me like I've five but I'll deal with it because I'm not good at making comebacks" daughter. Right now I'm playing the blogger, writing down my thoughts and being kind to fellow bloggers who may comment me or I may comment on their blogs. We are always playing a role; my question is, are we ever really ourselves?

My inner bitch is telling me I have better things to do online, plus I'm tired and have a weekend of studying for exams to do, so I will end my entry here.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

A Day Away From Stepping Back into Routine

2008-01-02T17:47:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is our first day back at school from break.

Ugh.

It's not that I don't enjoy visiting with my friends and most of my teachers. It's just the thought of having to wake up early to face the day before the crack of dawn that bothers me. Studies have proven (correct me if I'm wrong) that teenagers and young adults have the tendency to want to wake up later since their body clocks are pushing them to stay up later. Even with scientific evidence, I'm not sure that my mother, nor my school principal, will accept that as an excuse.

I also have to go back to math class. Oh, math: Satan's favorite subject. Maybe it's because I don't understand numbers, or the teacher's poor methods of educating us into trying to understand it, but I have not cared for math since I was 7 years old. Somehow my parents say it's my fault that I hate math and if I would just take the time to try and learn it, then I would be doing better than I am now. I do take the time to try; that's what a whole 40-minute period is for! Mom has been pushing me to try and see my math teacher during one of my free periods. I already have to sit in that class and listen to that man for 40 minutes; I really don't want to exceed that limit! Luckily first semester is almost over, and exams are next week. With great reluctance I decided to skip my chemistry exam instead of math. With any luck I just might raise my math grade a little bit... but I doubt it.

On a final note, my New Year celebrations went pretty well. I made 5 resolutions (all of which I'm bound to fail) and hopefully I can keep them in mind as I begin the new year. The main one on my mind is to find a prom date. There's nobody at my school that I'm willing to take with me to the dance (mostly because most of them are douche bags to begin with), but I do have somebody in mind. Unfortunately I have only actually talked to the person once in my life, and I have no way of contacting him at this moment. Somehow I must find a way... I still have time...

That is all.

Thank you and good night.

Greetings Fellow Mouse Potatoes

2007-12-28T18:32:00.000-05:00

At long last, I have finally joined the crusade of bloggers in this virtual world known simply as the Internet. Let me talk a little bit about myself:

My name is Christy. I live in Ohio and online (most of the time). I love to write (hence I started blogging). I enjoy most types of music. My heritage, in basic terms, is Polish-Scandinavian (I like to think myself as a Polish Viking). I despise the subject of math. I'm considering doing a double major of music and English when I'm in college. I love many television shows. I love my family and my friends. I love performing in community theatre and enjoy doing high school productions. I hate reading (ironic, isn't it?). Procrastination is my specialty. That and being moody. Common sense does not exist to me. I try to be helpful in any way I can, although I sometimes fall short of the expectations of me. I am very disorganized and messy (my room could use a little cleaning...). Like most women, I think I need to lose weight. Politically, I like to consider myself independent, but my opinions won't matter until after I turn 18. I support the WGA as they are on strike with the assholes known as the AMPTP. I support the troops serving overseas, but not the war so much. I love NBC Thursday nights, and FOX Sunday nights. I'm waiting for LOST to return in January. I have nightmares about the trolley from Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood, therefore, it needs to die. Spiders scare the living daylights out of me. I enjoy roleplaying on the MSN Groups "Angels, Demons, You Name It." Youtube is my new best friend. Charlie the Unicorn is the funniest short movie I think I've ever seen. Basil tastes funky to me. Chinese food is the best food in the world, hands down. Following Chinese food is Italian food. High speed Internet is God's gift to man. That and the dog. Daniel Radcliffe is God's gift to crazy teenage girls. I entertain myself with thoughts of whether Spider-Man or the Hulk would win in a one-to-one fight. I have speeding problems with my car. I occasionally suffer from the "Foot in the mouth" disease. I like shopping. Green is my favorite color.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.