A Change in Me

To recap the last two weekends, both went very well.

State Conference was very much enjoyable, despite one of our cast members getting a concussion near the end of the first act of our show. The audience who came to see us was whooping and and hollering the entire time, even when the techies came out, so we knew we were entertaining them well. At the end we received a standing ovation. The Hunt was a huge success! I hope we made our director proud, even though she was extremely pissed that she missed the second act of show, as she was with Eric in the hospital. Eric was fine, and by Monday, things were fairly back to normal.

Beauty and the Beast went very well also. Opening night was fairly nerve-wracking, along with the other openings the next three nights, but I've heard nothing but compliments about the show. I think this production was the first time I'd get extremely nervous right before every single show. Usually after opening night I'm fine, but this show was different. I think the best thing about the weekend altogether was the Sunday show - no rubber chickens!! We didn't change anything! Oh, if only my mother had been there to see that we had STOPPED a tradition. After last year's musical she refused to ever come to a Sunday show... perhaps next year she'll change her mind. If we keep this new tradition going, that is...

Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were my three days of grace. My three days of absolutely nothing in the evening, eating freshly made food with the family, and doing absolutely nothing after supper. It felt so weird to be home. Before those three days home had merely become a place to sleep and occasionally eat. Now that I was actually there, during daylight hours, with all the family members awake, it felt odd yet brought back many memories, from before my life became a fast-moving train of craziness.

It's not that I got nothing productive done over those three days; I actually got many things accomplished. For example, I finally got a sign made for Mr. Phan. And I made thank-you cards for the student music teachers to go along with their presents (that Mom paid for and wrapped, of course). That was my main goal, and I got it accomplished. I could've gotten some things on my research paper done, or worked on my chemistry or math, but I found it hard to concentrate. Maybe it was the weather warming up, or the fact that in less than two months school would finally be over. Whatever the case, I got very little done in my classes involving numbers this week. It just felt so nice to not have to go anywhere to please anybody or to give my one-hundred percent and be told that it wasn't enough. I needed a break, since my last break between shows was from the time we finished striking the set of Anne of Green Gables at 6PM on a Sunday evening, to The Hunt auditions the next day at 3PM. I deserved a break after doing two shows that were very heavy on the ensemble. I deserved some days of grace. And those were my three days of grace.

Now I'm back. Back in the chaos. Thursday night there was a Thespian meeting, and as much as I was hoping we'd cancel the Thespian show... we didn't. Some seniors felt that their last year would "suck" if they didn't do another show. Despite the fact that we had six seniors direct the One Acts shows, despite the fact that the seniors got to do a fall show (Alice in Wonderland), despite the fact that the seniors participated in the first production ever of an originally-written play done by our very director AND we took that play to the OHIO STATE THESPIAN CONFERENCE and performed in on the SATURDAY SLOT on the MAIN STAGE (which is pretty much the highest honor anyone can receive), they still felt that the year would suck if we didn't do a Thespian show. So now we're doing Bang! Bang! You're Dead in just two weeks, and I'm (thankfully) just a chorus member. Rehearsals are beginning on Monday, and luckily they're only from 4-6, which means I can still come home and eat with the family while the food is still hot from the oven. I just hope this show will be worth it in the end.

Yesterday was probably the best day of the year so far. Nothing special or exciting even really happened (minus the earthquake that rocked the Midwest and I think awoke me at 5:40 in the morning), but I just felt really good about myself. My self-esteem was pretty high yesterday. Maybe it was because I was wearing green flip-flops, or a green shirt, or a strapless bra, but whatever the case, I just felt... well, awesome. I gave Mr. Phan his parting gift, since yesterday was technically his last day. He adored the Spongebob wrapping paper (which he carefully unwrapped), and the card I made even more. But he really liked the gift I picked out for him, so he couldn't have been happier. Then I gave him his own sign, and that just made his day. It's now in the band room, just like Mr. Landry's sign once hung in the choir room.

I also gave Mr. Landry his gift yesterday. He was also very careful about unwrapping the Spongebob paper, and even more careful about the box that had the gift inside. He liked the card, and the gift, and the edible gifts, so I was pretty happy that he appreciated our family thinking of him. He gave me a hug, which I gladly gave back, and then went home.

Only to go to the elementary school to pick up my brothers and then drive to Toledo to go shopping with my mother. I was still in high spirits, so when Mom paid for my clothes, I wore something I never thought I'd ever see myself wear... pink. A plaid pink skirt, with a light pink shirt under a darker pink shirt. Complete with a rhinestone pink headband, pink sandals (both items courtesy of my sister), and pink nails. I think I've truly lost my mind. Or maybe I've changed. I seem to be a lot happier about myself these days, and I'm even happier when a certain somebody talks to me. It shows he acknowledges my existence, which is always nice for a guy to do. I've started drinking coffee again because of him, and I'm wearing pink of my own free will. I'm not sure if he inspired me to wear pink but... there's been a change in me. I like him, a lot, maybe if he realizes it, he might like me too... but I highly doubt anything will happen. Nothing can happen right now, at least for another year. Maybe if he's still single and stays around the area, and I stay single and wait a very long time... who knows? It could happen.

On a final note, we had our chicken barbecue today to raise money for the music boosters. I felt very satisfied with jazz band, very content with women's choir, decent for chorale and fairly well for concert band. And now I am tired, and would like to earn some sleep at some point.

That is all.

Thank you and good night.