The Show Must Go On

My melancholy mood has returned yet again. But we can dig into that later.

I've managed to continue trudging through this semester, going to class like a good student, going to work like a good worker. Have I grown pessimistic? Yes. The Falcons had their final three games of the season this past month (yes, the final three, definitely no bowl game this year). The first November game, against Miami, was a bizarre one... an ominous fog swallowed up much of the stadium and the city itself. Thank goodness I chose to stay in town that night, I couldn't imagine trying to drive home in that stuff at one in the morning. I went to work on Veteran's Day even though I was told a week beforehand I wouldn't have to come in and work. Funny how things change... I spent the remainder of my day after work hanging out with my Big, which consisted of Mario Brothers, B-Dubbs and apple dumplings. Class resumed that Friday, and I prepared myself for a long weekend.

I spent all of that Saturday at the Winter Wheat Festival, an event specifically targeted at writers and writing majors such as me. I learned quite a bit at all of the workshops I attended. At the dinner that night I was the youngest at my table, which was conveniently close to the cash bar. I wanted a drink, but I had other plans that evening so I reluctantly turned down a generous offer from one of the older gentlemen sitting at my table with me. One more year, one more year..... I left the festival much later than I preferred to, but it didn't matter because the Saxover hadn't even started yet. Yep, the 2010 Saxover was the same Saturday. And it was a blast! Except for when we watched a dumb movie (Stepbrothers, ugh), and when it was bedtime and I was trying to sleep and people kept setting off their ringtones. Did I ever mention how much of a morning person I'm not? Saxover ended with our final Sax Breakfast of the season, and then it was off to the CMA to set up and rehearse for our Sounds of the Stadium concert.

The rehearsal went well overall, except for one peculiar event... after Dr. Moss conducted the National Anthem, he said, "A few editorial notes..." and he paused, and then covered his face for a few seconds. When he removed his hands, there were tears in his eyes. He was crying. At first I thought he was crying because we sounded that terrible. But Dr. Moss managed to find his voice again and went on to say that this year's Falcon Marching Band was the best Falcon Marching Band he had seen and heard in his seventeen years here. It meant a lot to hear that coming from him. Rehearsal went on, then we had a brief break to get ready for the actual concert. The actual concert, for the most part, ran smoothly, although there were some goofs and individual errors, but the crowd enjoyed it regardless. I got four lovely carnations from three of my favorite people and one person who had a dollar to get rid of. After the concert I went out to the lobby as quickly as I could to meet with my family, since I specifically asked them to see me this year since they didn't last year. I waited... and waited... and waited, and started searching for my family. I made my way outside and caught sight of the family car... pulling out of the parking lot. I was crushed.... I decided to go and help with tear down, where I ran into Keith, the man who basically ran everything backstage at the CMA. Eddie had asked me earlier in the semester if I'd be interested in working for Keith, and I said sure. That day I finally got the nerve to tell Keith that I was interested in working for him in the spring. He said I could stop by his office at some point that week, so I kept that in mind.

I spent the remainder of my evening hanging out with my Big Sister and then going to work till the wee hours of the day. And then I went on with another long week. After class I stopped by Keith's office and filled out the application he gave me. I answered "No" to almost all of the questions on the sheet asking me specifics about my skills. I felt the second Keith looked at my application he'd turn me down in an instant. Instead, Keith went on to discuss the horrors of his high school band and his nazi of a band director, and next thing I knew an hour had passed. Keith then informed me he'd email the work schedule to me.... just like that I got hired! This event definitely put me in a better mood for the day.

The week went on, where the second game of the month happened. We traveled north to our rival school, Toledo, and played the Rockets. At least the band was awesome, unlike the football team.... after the game I crashed at my Big Sister's where I got up early to go to work and go to class. Then, that night, I had a dinner at Mickey D's with my Little and then went on to attend the midnight premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part I! With the exception of the audio having problems and the need to rewind and re-watch a half hour of the movie, it was pretty fun... until I didn't go to bed till almost four and had to get up and be in class by 8:30.

My week didn't stop there! The next morning, the Falcon Marching Band marched in Bowling Green's annual Holiday Parade. It was cold, and painful, but the community loves us so that's all that matters. After the parade I went to campus to work on a group presentation project, only to discover that we're basically doing our project on love and sex.... my partner is a guy, by the way, and a cute guy at that... After the meeting I went to the CMA to sort out clothes with some Brothers, then went back to my Big Sister's apartment where I sewed her uniform and watched some House reruns. I then went to my Big Brother's apartment and sewed his uniform as well. Funny thing, I have no desire to be the Uniform Chair next year.

Then, this past week, something happened to me that had never happened to me before... I got pulled over and issued a speeding ticket. I'm going to court tomorrow to pay for my ticket, hopefully I won't get arrested. I also started my second job last week, decorating Kobacker Hall and screwing stands and checking seats. As dirty as that sounds, that's exactly what I did. And I loved it! I owe Eddie big time for getting me my second job. However, when I texted my mass message of "Happy Thanksgiving" to all my friends, my best friend Kayla informed me from her boyfriend that my paperwork for my new job didn't transfer. This frustrates me immensely, so I must call the Student Employment Office tomorrow as well. Thanksgiving went well, I took Ives with me as my special guest since he couldn't be home for the holidays. The Friday after Turkey Day was the final game of the season, as well as Senior Day. It was Tony's last game... and Eddie's............

And now here we are, where I'm in my melancholy mood. I'm depressed because Tony and Eddie are both graduating at the end of the semester. And band is pretty much done until summer. But mostly I'm not ready to let go... I never am. I hate saying goodbye to people I've grown so attached to, especially Tony and Eddie. Before pregame on Friday Tony and I hugged and he said I was amazing and he was so proud of me, and he wants me to keep doing band because I'm so amazing... I felt like I was back in high school, when I was with Tony for his last Otsego game. It's going to be really hard to let go of Tony all over again. And then there's Eddie, who is not only my Big Brother, but he's pretty much become my best friend too. I know he'll be around every now and then, and I know that he was supposed to graduate a long time ago, but.... I don't know. I was incredibly blessed to meet him last year and to have gotten to know him so well over the past year. I hate sounding so sappy but I am seriously upset that I have to say goodbye...

We'll see how these final weeks in the semester play out. As Freddie Mercury once said, "Inside my heart is breaking, my makeup may be flaking but my smile still says on."

That is all.

Thank you and good day.

Giving Thanks

It's another Sunday. I'm lounging on my ass in my pajamas, dividing my time between my laptop and the television. My level of motivation today is extremely overwhelming; I called off my afternoon shift and found somebody to cover my evening shift. I got my paper done, I have no other homework assignments that I'm aware of being immediately due. I don't have to be anywhere till 3 at the earliest. What a wonderful feeling.

These past few weeks have been a wild ride in terms of my health. I was told by my doctor I have iron deficiency anemia and must take 2 iron pills a day in order to keep my hemoglobin up. While my hemoglobin has improved, I am still to take iron for the next 3 months. Joy. I've also been battling some other kind of illness, be it a cold or something. One minute I'll be fine, next minute I'll feel like crap. Damn this Ohio weather for always getting the best of me. Hopefully I'll start to feel on the up side sooner rather than later.

Halloween weekend could have been more exciting, but I enjoyed my Friday night. I began my evening by attending the outreach at my high school. It was great to play with my high school and college friends, and to see Otsego win! I celebrated my high school's victory by attending a Halloween party at the Q, which was a grand time. I was a male police officer this year, and got hit on by one of my gay friends, haha. I spent the remainder of the weekend doing homework and going to work.

This past week started okay and then gradually went downhill. While I can't go into too many details as to what happened, let's just say that nothing went right on Thursday... including the HAIL during marching band practice. Marching in hail was a first for me, and I don't know if I'd like to experience that again. It's rather painful... Anyway I had my second breakdown of the semester later that day, crying for an extended period of time in the chilly comfort of my car parked in the last row of the outskirts of a commuter lot. I hate when I want to cry all the time, I hate crying. Every time I cry I feel stupid and that I shouldn't be crying because "I'm a grown up" and should deal with things in a "grown up way." I don't know, I really don't...

Anyway, now that it's November, my goal is to make my Facebook statuses about something I'm thankful for. While some days will be difficult, other days will be easy. Here's to a potentially positive November, we'll see how this goes...

That is all.

Thank you and good day.